In most cases, caregivers are usually family members who have a vested interest in caring for a loved one or are placed in a position where there is no one else to take care of the person. Also, most of the time they perform their care giving duties not for pay, but out of love, responsibility and respect for the person they are caring for. Knowing who are the caregivers in your family can help everyone be prepared when the need arises.
The types of care giving arrangements vary according to the need in the family, but can include caring for:
- A spouse
- An elderly parent
- A brother or sister
- An extended family member – aunt, uncle, cousin, etc.
- A grandparent
Over the years we have seen a number of care giving scenarios when my mother took care of her parents in our home, my daughters helped out when their aunt prematurely died of a brain tumor in her thirties, my sister took care of our mother, and now my taking care of Dad.
While proximity to the person needing care plays a big part in caring for someone close to us, that is not always the case. My daughters flew from a northern state to a southern state to help take care of their aunt. I moved from Arizona to Michigan to take care of Dad.
In most cases caregiver duties are covered by one or two people. I’m thankful for the help I receive from my daughter who lives nearby and is an RN. She has been a great help to Dad and I over the past couple of years.
Care giving is extremely stressful, especially if the person is nearing the end of their life for whatever reason. There are several ways that family members can help lighten the load no matter how far away they live.
Sharing the Responsibility
Most of us lead busy lives. We have our own kids, spouses, careers, homes, and other activities that fill our days. When the need arises because a family member requires care, it can literally tear a family apart trying to come up with a workable solution. Some family members will step up to the plate while others will turn their back and refuse to help out.
The need for a caregiver is typically a delicate situation. Often, a family friend or a doctor will be the first to contact a family member they know is close to the person needing care. It is often unusual for the person needing care to contact their family directly. They will likely not want to be a burden. Once you receive the call, it is time for a family meeting.
Get as many family members together as you can to find out what is going on. At this point, decisions will need to be made about continuity of care for your loved one. Here is where you might decide on hiring a caregiver or looking after them yourself. There are many options available, including in-home care and assisted living. Many in need of care are afraid they will be relegated to a tiny room in a nursing home. That is very often not needed. As a matter of fact, a nursing home is only needed when 24 hour medical care is required.
Sharing the responsibility and decision making also involves your loved one. They don’t want to sit on the sidelines in their own lives or be treated like a child. Ask them how they would like to see their care handled. Encourage them to be open and candid with you about their choices, and listen to their desires and their concerns.
No one wants to burden someone they love with their care. Remind your loved one that if the situation were reversed, they would take care of you. When you love someone, care is not a burden. Proper communication of these feelings is the key to resolving such touchy issues. Once resolved, the only issue on the table will be the care, which is as it should be.
Family care giving brings with it a unique set of circumstances. Approach the family with openness and love to find out who the caregivers are in your family. Once those decisions are discussed and agreed upon, the other issues during this difficult time will be more easily resolved.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Jason Jack // Feb 2, 2012 at 2:51 am
This article is full of insights, care giving is not an job but an obligation in which we take time to give back of what our family gave to us. An obligation full of compassion and devotion where you are not just thinking your own self but sharing your time for the one you love.
2 Jason Jack // Feb 2, 2012 at 9:07 am
this article is great! this will help to remind everybody the importance of family tights and values. I guess nobody will sacrifice themselves just to take care of the people that we don’t know only our family can do that.
3 Gregg Evans // Feb 2, 2012 at 11:09 pm
In our family, the caregiver is truly my mom. My grandmother had passed away and it was my mom who was taking care of her. I admire my mom and wanted to give him the best care I can.
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