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Eventually many baby boomers must make the painful decision to discuss housing issues with their aging parents. Ideally, their parents have indicated their plans for the future. If not, it is up to the children to open avenues for this difficult discussion.
The following points may assist initial conversations.
- Discuss the future as early as possible. Find out what their intentions are before they reach their sixties and seventies. Are they planning to stay in their home, move to another location, and sell their home to travel around the country?
- Bring all interested parties together. Aging parents and adult children should gather, formally or informally, for open discussion of the future in order to prevent possible misunderstandings later.
- Ask open-ended questions. Gently probe for their thoughts. They may not know themselves what they want for the future, or it may be too painful to discuss.
- Practice active listening rather than telling them what you want them to do in their senior years. Do not discount your parent’s desires.
- When a friend or relative faces a life choice, you can use the situation as an opportunity to begin sensitive talks with your parents. As they see what someone else is going through, they may express their own desires without hesitation.
Life is never certain and the unexpected can happen, well, unexpectedly.
Although it may seem too early to discuss these issues, bringing everyone together for open and honest dialogue may prevent later misunderstandings.
Have you talked to your parents yet? Do you know what their retirement plans are? What would prevent you from bringing this subject out in the open?
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