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A side effect of aging or even chronic illness that most people do not understand is the loneliness that most seniors experience. Loneliness isn’t just about being alone. It is about being lonely, and, unfortunately, it comes with a price.
Along with loneliness comes the feeling of isolation, of being disconnected from family, friends, neighbors, and the rest of society. Most people who are lonely feel like they don’t belong even when they are surrounded by their loved ones.
Loneliness linked to depression
Researchers reveal that loneliness has been linked to depression and anxiety, as well as anger and an increase in problems with one’s physical health. When people are lonely they often have trouble sleeping and their blood pressure rises which increases their risk of heart disease.
Caregivers and family members need to be aware of how their loved one is dealing with loneliness. Often the loss of a spouse, hearing loss, or chronic illness increases the possibility of feeling alone and unwanted. Hence, the sense of isolation increases.
Aging seniors need encouraged to develop new social ties or strengthen existing relationships to help them overcome the sense of isolation. Whether in person or by phone, the elderly need to reach out to others. Or better yet, family members, friends, and others within their social circle should attempt to reach out to them, if only for a phone call or quick visit to their home.
Just knowing that someone out there cares about them goes a long way in alleviating loneliness.
Chronic illness is a solitary battle as well.
The suffering one endures is difficult to explain unless someone else has experienced the same thing. The struggles with long-time medical conditions, the inability to join family and friends, the misunderstood responses to questions, or the inability to relate to what someone else is going through are all part of the mix that deprives people of companionship when they need it most.
Depending on the condition, there are a large number of people who just can’t relate to someone who has any kind of condition, elderly or young. There are people who will go out of their way to avoid someone who they see as weak and unimportant. That is a sad commentary about today’s society. But, unfortunately, it is true.
The world today often leaves seniors behind
There are a large number of people who don’t want to deal with anyone over the age of sixty or seventy because they just chalk them up as unimportant in their life. The older person appears to have lost their relevancy in a young person’s world.
The fast paced society of the 21st century with its accompanying high-tech products and edgy lifestyle are a far cry from what the current crop of seniors experienced back in their day of the early to mid 1900s. The generation gap is wider than ever, and few young people are interested in finding a way to middle ground, let alone closing the gap.
It is difficult to find anyone who is willing to listen to someone’s stories of their childhood and how things were “back in the day.” But, that is exactly what many seniors need right now – to talk about what their life was like as a child or as a young adult; to feel like their life was important then and is still important to someone other than themselves.
A father and son bond
My father loves to tell us about how life was when he was young, or the stories of his wilder days as a teen and young adult. And he does have his stories! Lately, he has found a listening ear in my brother who is in his early sixties. In fact, my brother has graciously listened for various lengths of time, and has even encouraged Dad to share more by asking specific questions.
I cannot even tell you how fulfilling that makes my Dad feel. His “I just talked to your brother” comment after every phone call is filled with a stronger voice than prior to the call that let’s me know he feels good that someone cared enough to listen. It has also strengthened a bond between the two of them that wasn’t always there.
My brother lives hundreds of miles away, but he calls almost every day for varying lengths of time. When he has the time, though, he makes sure that he listens to what Dad has to say about the old days. That makes a world of difference to Dad, and gives him a reason to look forward to every phone call.
Have you made a call today?
No matter where your elderly family members or friends are age-wise or physical location, give them a call if even for just a few minutes. Let them know that someone cares enough to dial the phone and spend a little while chatting and letting them be a part of someone else’s world. Loneliness is a horrible thing to experience. Your phone call, letter, card, or visit to their home or nursing home room could be the very thing they need to help them feel connected to the rest of the universe.
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