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Family caregivers have been around for centuries. Many are unsung heroes who are willing to care for one or more family members, whether they are aging parents, a spouse, or children who are unable to care for themselves. They care for their family, their own needs often going unmet. But, if you seriously ask them, most will tell you they are where they believe they should be at that time in their life.
There are a number of caregivers, however, who are in their position because there was no one else to care for their loved one. Many times these caregivers are the spouse of the person who needs care, or the adult child or parent of someone who cannot care for themselves.
They provide unpaid, daily care
Most of the time, family caregivers are unpaid and sacrificing their time on a daily basis to care for an elderly loved one or a family member who is chronically ill. Quite often they live in the same home, but other times they live close by and visit every day for any number of hours.
Family caregivers care specifically for their loved ones by monitoring their medications, doing household chores, taking them to doctor’s appointments, keeping them company, and running numerous errands. Another word you could use for caregiver would be manager. They manage the household and the person who they are caring for. It is an unpaid management position on the one hand, while also consisting of a ground-level, in-the-trenches support that takes much physical and emotional toll.
Requirements of a family caregiver
What skills do you need and how do you apply for such an unpaid position? Well, to apply all you need to do is love a family member to the point where you want to take care of their needs when they are unable to care for themselves.
- Love. The number one requirement to be a family caregiver is Love! Quickly following love is patience and joy.
- Willingness. A willingness to give of your time, and possible your former life. Many caregivers give up their own homes and lifestyles to care for a loved one. This writer moved from Tucson to Michigan to care for her elderly father. There are many such moves around the country.
- Desire. The desire to see someone you love have the best life possible the rest of their life. No matter what it takes.
- Patience. I mentioned patience under love, but it also stands alone. To care for someone else takes great patience. Love and patience have to be a part of the mix or you end up with anger and abuse.
- Decision making ability. Sometimes this is learned on-the-job so to speak. There are often increasingly difficult decisions to make. When caring for someone who is elderly or ill, the progression of their age or illness can prevent them from helping you make decisions regarding their care. As time goes on, you may not have their input and will have to make difficult decisions pretty much on your own.
There are many factors to consider before volunteering to be some one’s caregiver. For many family members, there was no choice. If your spouse or child falls ill, you must take care of them or find other help. In other situations, such as elderly parents who can no longer live by themselves, conversations with other family members probably will determine who steps up to the plate and takes over the care of the parent(s).
Family caregivers are special
Family caregivers are a special breed of people who are willing and able to set aside their own life to care for someone else. Caregivers go into the process not knowing how long their stint will be or how deep into the decision-making process they will have to delve. For some, there are serious end-of-life issues to consider, while others are helping out until their loved one can get back on their feet after an illness.
Whatever the reason or length of time, family caregivers are a god-send to those who are elderly or ill. It takes a lot for someone to be a caregiver, and it can certainly take its toll over time. But, there is also nothing more fulfilling than knowing you made a positive difference in the life of someone you love.
