When it is time to find a caregiver for someone who can no longer care for themselves, or at the very least needs assistance, we often find that those willing to provide that care are close family members. These people are willing provide care without pay out of love, respect, responsibility, duty, or a myriad of other reasons. Here are a few examples of the types of roles a caregiver may play in the family:
- Caring for a spouse
- Caring for an elderly parent
- Caring for a sibling
- Caring for extended family
- Caring for a grandparent
Care giving may fall on one or two people depending on geographic location and availability. Families often become stressed in this difficult situation. Let’s take a look at what they can do to help relieve that stress.
Sharing the responsibility
This is where things can get sticky. Most of us lead busy lives. There are kids, spouses, careers, homes, and other activities that fill our days. When the need arises for a family member to be cared for, it can literally tear a family apart trying to come up with a workable solution.
The need for a caregiver is typically a delicate situation. Often, a family friend or a doctor will be the first to contact a family member they know is close with the person needing care. It is often unusual for the person needing care to contact their family directly. They will likely not want to be a burden. Once you receive the call, it is time for a family meeting.
Time for a family meeting
Get as many family members together as you can to find out what is going on. At this point, decisions will need to be made about continuity of care for your loved one. Here is where you might decide on hiring care or looking after them yourself.
There are many options available, including in-home care and assisted living. Many in need of care are afraid they will be relegated to a tiny room in a nursing home. That is very often not needed. As a matter of fact, a nursing home is only needed when 24 hour medical care is required.
Decision making should include your loved one, if possible
Sharing the responsibility and decision making also involves your loved one. They don’t want to sit on the sidelines in their own lives or be treated like a child. Ask them how they would like to see their care handled. Encourage them to be open and candid with you about their choices, and listen to their desires and their concerns.
Good communication is key
No one wants to burden someone they love with their care. Remind your loved one that if the situation were reversed, they would take care of you. When you love someone, care is not a burden. Proper communication of these feelings is the key to resolving such touchy issues. Once resolved, the only issue on the table will be the care, which is as it should be.
Family care giving brings with it a unique set of circumstances. Approach your family with openness and love, and all these issues during this difficult time will more easily be resolved.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Lifestation // Sep 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm
As you point out, communication throughout the process is key: talking among family members and with the senior will make any decisions that are made easier and less stressful. There are in fact, many options, and gently and calmly discussing them will help the senior to feel secure and less resistant.
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2 Edie // Sep 16, 2010 at 10:11 pm
There are many family who have trouble communicating, or at least in the right way, and that just adds to the stress of caregiving. If all families could calmly discuss their situation and agree on possible solutions, that would be wonderful, wouldn’t it?! Our family has been very lucky in that regard – thankfully so!
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