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Do Your Parents Feel Unloved and Unwanted?

October 11th, 2010 · 3 Comments

Many older people quite often go through a stage when they feel that they are unloved and unimportant. At times they will need to be assured that they are loved and that they are not considered a burden to the family. In a way, making your parents happy can bring joy, contentment and peace of mind not only to them but to the one giving care as well.

In the best case scenario, your elderly parents will appreciate all that you and others in your family are doing to keep the family unit together. For your part, there is nothing better than feeling that you are making a positive difference in the life of the person or people who raised you and cared for you when you were too young to care for yourself.

Stay home or enter a home?

While most families prefer to keep their loved ones close by even if it means moving in with their parents or having their parents move in with them, others prefer to find some kind of assisted living or independent living facility. Still others try to keep their parents in their own home as long as possible while paying for outside help to come in and take care of medical and physical needs.

Those who prefer to care for their aging parents do so as an act of love knowing that their personal attention will far exceed the care their loved one would receive outside the family.

There are families who are unable to care for their parents for a number of reasons and decide that the best care they can get are through other facilities, although they visit as much as possible and often assist in day-to-day care.

Whatever families decide, it is a personal decision that should be discussed among all family members who would be involved in the care or in other positions of responsibility within the family unit.

Reassure your parents with love

Unfortunately, the best case scenario isn’t always a part of reality for many families. Lifestyles are interrupted or set aside for a season and life takes a different turn for many children and grandchildren of the elderly. Your parents need reassurance that they are loved and still an important part of the family no matter where they live.

Whatever you decide to do, whether you decide to be the caregiver or support another family who takes on that role, or place your loved one in a facility that can care for their needs, do so after much thought, discussion, and prayer. Then release any nagging feelings of guilt or remorse knowing you did the best you could under the circumstances. For further consideration on this topic please see Are You Ready to Take Responsibility for Your Aging Parents?

Tags: Caregivers · Elder Care


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3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 roclafamilia // Oct 21, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Helpful blog, bookmarked the website with hopes to read more!

  • 2 Dale // Oct 21, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    This article has made me thinking about my one remaining living parent i.e. my Mom. Both my brother and I live at a distance from her. She is nearly 70 years old now and lives in a small town and does not even know her neighbors very well. At least I worry about her and wish she lived closer by or she move into a care facility in a larger city. I know she feels unloved living alone in isolation where she does.

  • 3 Edie // Oct 21, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    I understand how your Mom may feel as I lived in Tucson for a year with no family members around – they are mostly in Michigan. It is difficult living alone without family and friends to keep you company. I hope you, your brother, and your mother, can come to an agreement about her living arrangements where you all feel comfortable. Living in isolation definitely causes a person to feel unloved. Hopefully, you and your brother can show her how much you care. Thanks for sharing your story.

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