As most of us know, years of health care improvements including advances in medications, medical tests, and overall improved lifestyles, life expectancy has been climbing. Even our parents are often surpassing their parents in terms of years lived due to better health care conditions.
Although most of us consider this good news because we want our parents to live as long as possible, it does cause unexpected challenges for those who are living a prolonged life, and for their families. The question for us baby boomers and those coming behind us is: Are you ready to take responsibility for your aging parents?
Factors to consider
There are a number of factors to consider before deciding where what is best for your loved one and other family members. Some thoughts to consider are:
- Physical ability including living arrangements or general health of the caregiver as well as the parent(s). The challenges can be great depending on the physical condition of the person you are caring for. Can you help them in and out of bed, out of the bath or shower, take care of their physical needs?
- Emotional abilityincludes the strength and power of love that comes with the challenges of care giving, including patience, empathy, kindness, and love.
- Professional skills to care for someone else. It is helpful if the caregiver has some skill in caring for another person, but it is not required. For most of us there is quite a lot of on-the-job training when it comes to caring for another person. Having some kind of back ground in nursing or elder care, or even in the most basic lifesaving techniques would be ideal.
- Financial status of the family. Can the family afford to bring in outside help, place their loved one in an assisted living facility, or will family members need to pretty take care of all their needs?
- Organizational skills. There is a great need for making sure that all doctors’ appointments, medication needs, and necessary paperwork are taken care of on a timely basis. Consider who will fix their meals, keep track of their daily medications, drive them to and from all appointments, lab tests, and senior center lunches or visits to family and friends.
No matter what you or your family decide, staying open to the possibilities before you, staying in touch with concerned family members, and making thoughtful and considerate decisions regarding what works best for all will allow your family to do what is best for your loved ones. For further consideration of this topic, check out yesterday’s post titled Do Your Parents Feel Unloved and Unwanted?
8 responses so far ↓
1 Despr8caregiver // Oct 12, 2010 at 2:04 pm
No kidding. Caregivers need to have all these skills and more plus find ways to treat parents with dignity and share fun times and close times and meaningful times. This is the hardest job in the world and one of the most necessary.
The thing I learned from being a caregiver is to never stop reaching out for help. We blog about this and other issues of caregiving at Inside Aging Parent Care http://www.desperatecaregivers.com
Thank you for your support of caregivers everywhere.
2 Keith (@ElderCareKeith) // Oct 14, 2010 at 8:24 am
An additional critical element is discussions around decision-making and legal control. Do this in advance of a crisis. Having advance care directives such as powers of attorney, living wills, and also family members listed on HIPAA medical info disclosure authorizations in place smoothes the way.
3 Edie // Oct 14, 2010 at 11:15 am
Keith, you are certainly on target regarding discussions about decision-making and legal control. They can definitely be hot-topic subjects in many families. Thank you for your insightful comments. Hope to hear from you again very soon.
4 Edie // Oct 14, 2010 at 11:22 am
I agree, caregiving is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and as life expectancy increases, will become more necessary for those of us coming up in the generation behind our parents. As difficult as caregiving is, it still also has its blessings if we allow ourselves to see the positive difference we are making in someone else’s life. I just visited your blog and it looks like you are really sharing some good information. Hope to hear from you again very soon. Thanks for stopping by.
5 Nancy from Lifestation // Oct 14, 2010 at 12:19 pm
I was one of the first of my friends to go down this road with my parents….and my advice to all of them since then is to be prepared. We were not, and most people my age with elderly parents are not either. I feel like we can’t discuss this enough. You brought up several points that are so important, as did Keith about the legal aspects. Hard discussions, but important to have in advance!
Nancy from Lifestation recently posted..LifeStation Home Medical Alert System
6 Edie // Oct 14, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Nancy, I think most people are not ready to care for their aging parents although in recent years there has been enough publicity about Alzheimer’s and dementia that more are coming on board. If we can all play a part in getting the message out there, then hopefully more people will be prepared and also prepare their adult children. My daughters and I have already talked and they are just turning 40 and 41. They saw what we went through with my mother and now my father and are well aware that I’m next.
7 Allie // Oct 29, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Thank you so much for all the information you provide! It’s really helped me- I’m researching how to become a caregiver for my elderly parents.
I found this website, ShareWIK.com, which has offered a lot of helpful suggestions and information.
I just wanted to pass it along to anyone who might be interested.
ShareWIK stands for Share What I Know, and the site offers information from doctors and other experts as well as stories and advice from people who’ve had to go through the pain of ‘parenting your parent.’
http://www.sharewik.com/videos/1705225 (This links to a really interesting video featuring several individuals who share their experiences)
http://www.sharewik.com/blogs/item/tips-for-a-smooth-transition-from-independent-to-assisted-living (This links to a blog post by a woman who shares her experiences transitioning her mother from independent to assisted living. Very insightful.)
Hopefully you find these links as helpful as I did!
8 Edie // Oct 30, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Allie,
I checked out the site ShareWIK and found that it is a great way to connect with others who share similar experiences. It seems to be open to anyone who desires to connect with people who are or have gone through similar situations so that they can support one another. That is so important when a person is caring for someone else. They need all the support they can get. Thank you for leaving this information, and I hope others see you message and click through. I’ll check it out further and maybe write a post about it. I think it might be time to share some new links that we have so that people get to know what else is out there. Hope to hear from you again very soon. Thanks for stopping by.
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