Although we knew Dad was having problems with his memory, some of us actually thought he was experiencing a series of mini strokes much as my mother had prior to her death. She was diagnosed with TIA dementia, and Dad’s symptoms somewhat mirrored hers. However, yesterday we got the dreaded news that rather rocked our world.
Those of you who have been around a while know I created this site shortly after becoming Dad’s caregiver in September 2006. We were on Blogger first, then moved over to our own domain here at Elder Care Cafe. Although I rarely talk about him, he is the basis for this site. My plan has always been to sell or let go of Elder Care Cafe when he is no longer with us.
Several weeks ago he had an MRI and a carotid doppler to rule out strokes or dementia. The MRI showed that he was not having any stroke activity at all. This really took us by surprise.
However, the carotid doppler showed the bad news. Dad is experiencing Alzheimer’s-like activity. If you know anything about Alzheimer’s disease, you know that it cannot be diagnosed as such as long as the person is alive. The diagnosis can only be reached after an autopsy.
That’s why they gave the diagnosis as Alzheimer’s-like symptoms, or activity. While the term Alzheimer’s seems to be the most well known, especially in the media, the disease is only one of a large group gathered under the umbrella term of dementia.
Although it was tough enough to go through Mom’s nine-year battle with TIA dementia, for some reason her diagnosis was easier to take than Dad’s. This has really rocked me and I’m struggling with what this means for him, for us as father and daughter, and as a caregiver. What I thought was that he would pass away as the result of a stroke, but this is a whole different story.
We didn’t talk much last night after we got home from the doctor’s, but I’m going to talk to him today to make sure he understands what was said. He is very hard of hearing, and I’m not sure he understands what’s ahead. Not sure exactly what I’m going to say, but I want him to know he has my support as well as my daughter’s and other family members.
My daughter is an RN in ICU at a large hospital, and is very close to her grandfather. She was with us yesterday at the doctor’s office and was a strong support. I called my siblings last night and let them know, and also am contacting very close personal friends of Dad. They know he is struggling and I know they want to be supportive as well.
I think it’s good to gather friends and family around him at this time, especially as there may be things they want to say to him while he can still understand.
While I’m not looking forward to the months and possible years ahead, I do know above all else - God is in control!
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